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VersionsEdit

Andrea Marcovicci and KT Sullivan in the musical The Confidence Man

LyricsEdit

Suppose a soft-handed gentleman
Should turn the knob thus
What would become of us?
What would become of us?

Suppose that, entering our chambers
He should fiddle and fuss
What would become of us?
What would become of us?

Imagine fingers a-flailing
While we're reeling and railing
And our knees slowly sinking
While our senses go sailing
Our trices and trusses he'd distress—
He'd distress—
And distruss—
What would become of us?
What would become of us?

So, take this traveller's bolt and this traveller's belt
They're the two best devices a thief ever felt
Try this traveller's alert and this traveller's alarm
And this false-bottom sling for the affluent arm

Here's a bell you can grip while you're taking a nap
For the overnight trip here's a game-hunter's trap
Wear this garter of chain, use this stay, it's a knife
Here's a sword, it's a cane—take them all! It's your life!

Here's a bell you can grip while you're taking a nap
For the overnight trip here's a game-hunter's trap
Wear this garter of chain, use this stay, it's a knife
Here's a sword, it's a cane—take them all! It's your life!

It's… your… life!

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